Oily rag !! Greetings from under the bonnet !
As Bronwyn has passed yet another MOT I though about all the things I have learnt and all the things I wish I had known when we ( Bronwyn and I) first started out...from the day I took delivery..the breakdowns and garage bills... But also all the happy hours of motoring.
I would like to share some of my thoughts on purchasing an LDV convoy and hope that you dear friends and readers enjoy this offering...
Well I started off spending £1200 on my van July 2013, the guy I bought it off drove from Manchester to Sidmouth to deliver it and so I thought it must be a good runner.
In October when it was getting cold I thought about the long winter ahead so I bought my "Idris" log burner from Snail stoves in Glastonbury ...it was very much worth the wait as Graham is quite busy ( better to contact him now and get designs for your door ect sorted...I used fire board for the base and surround... Self tapping screws to securing the board to metal... At this point you may think about tiling the fire board ...oh one word about seats ....you may want to take all the seats out, ...I asked the guy who I got Bronwyn ( my van) off to take out all the seats ...oh yeah he took out all the seats and left all the holes in the floor... So I collected Buxton water bottle tops and inserted them into the securing cups and then mastic over .... There are lots of things I did which I did in the wrong order because I was in a rush and Bronwyn has been a learning curve so my next one will be just right ...I am 5'10.... I put my bed across the back of the van ...DOH ...it's only 72 inches which gives me only 2 inches head room and have to lay down diagonally !!
Anyway less of my nocturnal habits !!
Remember ....
The space between the out side metal skin of the van and the inside plastic trim IS NOT insulated and there is nothing there but fresh air !! In winter it gets bloody cold and So I have fire foamed mine all round and even boarded the windows .that silver bubble insulation sheet you can buy from hardware stores is ideal and can also be out across the front window for insulation and privacy.
It is said that the back doors always let it a draft...yes they do but I have used this to my advantage and channeled the air through and over the wheel arch,making a long box and then cutting a vent in the end not too far off the air regulator of my log burner.
Do try and get a camp site hook up electrical socket for your van ....they won't let you on a camp site if it does not look like a camper and some don't even like conversions !!
Enfield in the north and Chertsey in the South West of the M25 are great campsites Check out GO-OUTDOORs camping shop as they have lots of good quality cheap appliances and for £5 a year their discount card will save you serious money.
One appliance you will definitely need is a consumer unit once you are parked on a site for electrics ..it comes with its own fuse box built in.
A long extension lead for visiting friends ... I have a fan heater and strips lights and obviously I want to charge my phones to... A dash board charger socket with battery display is essential for peace of mind and knowing that your battery is not running low and your alternator is charging your battery ... Nothing like driving down the M6 in rush hour traffic when everything goes dead and your van packs up because you didn't know your alternator was not working when you bought your van !!!! It happened to me .
God I should write a book !!
Right from the bottom...
Tyres dont forget you can spend lots of money on making your van pretty to
live in but those beautiful Indian cushions you bought in a bohemian mind moment are not going to grip the road well !! Always inspect your tyres of your new van ...I bought Mankook tyres, six of them and when I asked how long they would last...the guy said "probably longer than your van mate.
If your van has twin wheels at the back then make sure that the inside wheels inflator valves are actually fitted and you don't have to go off to a tyre place as I did because I didn't notice that the unscrupulous bastard ( here to in referred to as UB)
had taken the inside valves off mine knowing that I would not notice being a first time van dweller ... Right moving on ..... Under chassis ... Check bushes for wear ...front and back ...Brakes...yes by all means take your van for a test drive before purchase and try the brakes...one common fault is that the ABS light comes on and the goes off again..this is a wiring problem and most likely cause by the rain getting in the window seals from the high roof gutters..rusting the metalwork down the front pillars and then down onto the front wheel arch and then to your nice new set of driving carpets 😥. This can also be remedied by using a good mastic, wire brush and foam sealant.
Exhaust: some exhausts do have little "blow holes" after a considerable time on the road so when you go to look at your potential purchase wear old clothes that you can lay on your back with a torch and give the underneath a damn good look at...a tell tail sign will always be that black sooty deposite from the exhaust along the outside body work toward the rear tyre...if the vendor has cleaned it off hoping that you won't notice then the rear tyre will look unusually blacker than the rest of the tyres and running your hand over the rear tyre will show black soot on your fingers !
As with any MOT the garage engineer will have a set routine or pattern of inspecting a vehicle..
Start from the inside...try the hand brake ( is it loose) will it hold your vehicle on a slope while parked?.
Has your beautiful new van got a nice new MOT ? BEWARE !! The MOT certificate advisories can be blanked out with a piece of white paper and photo copied to make it look like there were no advisories ....
Paper work ?? Always inspect paper work before even going anywhere near the vehicle ....so the records match .... Don't forget when your going down the road and the seller has your hard earned money in his greasy little cold hands and shuts the door ....it is now your van ....Buyer beware)
and do make sure that he had filled in the V5 and given it to you to post ....UB didn't and I got stopped by the police who informed me that ...I was insured the drive the vehicle ...but I didn't own it ...FIVE months later !!
And they could fine me £1600 for not having the records strait !!
Inside the vehicle lights,window washers, seat adjustment, seat belt...passenger seat belt... Any cracks or chips on the windows.. Never mind the vendor pointing out that it has a nice radio and CD player...
Does the heater actually work ?...step out of the vehicle and make sure it is out of gear..
Exhaust .... Make sure that you watch the exhaust when you go to buy your van.standing at the drivers side .. Turn the key and watch the lights go out ..get a feel for turning the key and make sure that the key barrel is not loose... And the plastic trim round the steering column is secure...has it been tampered with ?
How many keys has the vendor given you ?.
Ok Start up,watching for that ABS light to.?..
Then turn her over ...now listen to the starter motor first ...did it make a rattle rather than a smooth gliding transition...? Bearings ?? Belts ??
On start up watch for any smoke from the exhaust ... It's a common trick for the vender to stand between you and the exhaust so you cannot see ...oh at this moment you will be standing BY the drivers door with the door open, hand on ignition key with your head firmly at 90 degrees and your eyes locked in on the exhaust like a falcon at 200 feet up scoping a rabbit ! ....on start up was there any visible smoke and more importantly what colour ... It's all in the mix as they say and the correct mix of air and diesel should produce a meditative hum and maybe a little black smoke (cough) ... Any great plumes of white smoke accompanied by the seller telling you that it's quite normal on a cold day ...WALK AWAY !! Same with blue smoke ...yes you can get blue smoke aswel !
When was the vehicle last serviced ?
Right engine compartment ...
Release lever is under the steering wheel right side by the front wheel arch .... Then walk to the front of the vehicle and slip your fingers under the bonnet to release the catch ... Prop it up and have a look.... Now there are a few things here ... Battery ...on some batteries you get a small viewing glass circle that tells you if the battery is good (green good) ask the seller how long he has had the vehicle ? This should tally with that paper work you inspected earlier ??
The battery should be changed about every three years according to recommendations from the retailer..... REMEMBER its your money he is after !
On the battery should be the voltage mine is 12 volt (see pictures) any rust by the battery could be battery leakage... Is the securing bolt for the battery in a good enough condition to hold the battery and stop it from jumping out and around the engine compartment once you navigate your first speed bumps.. ?
When was the CAM belt changed or due for change ...every 50 thousand miles ....how long has he had it and how many miles has he done in that time ?? So when did he have the cam belt changed .... Remember it's your money !!
Have a look at the top end of the engine ... Is it dry or wet with diesel ....their could be an air leak that makes the no2 injector stop working properly so your effectively running on three cylinders !! It could be a pipe in which case it's nothing to replace or it could be a new injector between £100 and £400 you have to have fitted !!
Oil: leaks and levels
If the vendor says that the vehicle has just been serviced then there should logically be a new oil and fuel filter in place..also look at the alternator and push down on the belts. Obviously they will have a little play in them but not too much.
Funny how oil can get everywhere including a nice pool under the van !!
Unless seller has put a drip tray there and removed it before you got there BUT there will be oil over the sub frame .... Don't worry if it's just a bit .... Worry if on start up it squirts like the Trevi fountain !!
Are there any worn pipes... Play in the steering.. CHECK your fluids :
Just by the battery there is the steering column and universal joint ...!there are three copper pipes ... One looks like it goes under the battery ....these are your power steering pipes and it's not funny when your steering goes all heavy and power steering fluid is jetting everywhere and over your drivers side wheel ...the other pipes lead toward you then right across the radiator...
Up into a nice "U" bend and down to the power steering pump.. Your fingers are the best indicators of leaks where you can't see...don't be shy get in there and make sure the engine is switched off and the keys are in your hand or pocket😅
All to often when out on a bimble somewhere to have tea and cake with friends...do I notice the posh motorist parked at the side of the road "hazards on " bonnet up and crying into their Haynes manual because
1:they never checked oil,
Coolant,power steering fluid, battery, (remember that little green light ) window washer fluid ect .... Takes seconds to check and hours waiting for the AA or RAC,GREEN FLAG, Britannia rescue .... You do have rescue cover don't you ??
If your with the Lloyds bank and upgrade your account to platinum ...you get AA road side for free !! Ok they do charge for the Upgrade a few quid a month. Shop around for road side cover.
Don't forget that stripped out your Vehicle is NOT 3.5 tonnes ... It is actually 2.3 !
go have it checked at a public weigh station... There's nothing like an over enthusiastic police bod who sees your chimney sticking out of your van and thinks that your beautiful log burner is actually the same as one of the boilers that came from the Titanic !! And pulls you into a weigh station to ask you for your reg details ( remember sending that V5 off ? )
and your licence oh and your nice clean MOT ???
And then tells you to pull forward and put your front wheels on that plate apply hand break and turn off engine and repeat with rears !!
Cant stress this enough ...I always keep my registration documents away from prying eyes but close to hand if required.
Right so your already to go ...when you do park up in the fresh air of a beautiful area and you have had your tea and just putting the kettle on...taking in that beautiful vista of fields and flowers , trees and lakes and bloody dog walkers at 6am in the morning bending down to pick up what little Benji has just done when you thought about running bear foot through the Daisy's .....and suddenly there is a knock on the side of your van and two of the local constabularies finest are glaring into your van with the acuteness of the grand inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition as to who you are , why you are there and if your van smells of A alcohol B your finest skunk , C anything else questionable ...I
Like to hang my washing up by my log burner just to throw them off the scent !!...whoops where was I...oh yes ... We are still under the bonnet ....
Alternator /belts/ fan / ah it's not raining..ok close the bonnet ....
Things that you are never going to check on a nice day ...lights , do they actually work and are all the bulbs , indicators working ?? You could ask the vender at this point to operate the lights for you and walk around the vehicle...brake lights working at the rear, indicators...
Window screen wipers and squirts ?? Yep one of the first things to go on a well worn LDV ... Window screen wiper linkage...another £300 at any garage.... Don't be put off, there are plenty on beautiful LDVs out there its like picking ripe apples.... There will always be a rotten one
( if you are going to undercoat your wood do not use solvent based paints at all or undercoats ??) they take ages to dry and hang about like the smell of kippers in your air conditioning ?? There are water based undercoats and its worth paying for them.
if you are having a log burner and think of storing a leisure battery.... Batteries whist discharging give off hydrogen gas as a by product ...WHICH IS EXPLOSIVE !! Do not store your leisure battery anywhere near your logburner or a source of fire or ignition !! Think about having a steel box or container fabricated at a later date, I am looking at having one made and fitted under the van between the driver side wheels where there is plenty of space.
Lots of people have asked me about my conversion and how long it took, so while writing this again I remember all the things I did and wish I had done when not it a hurry to fit Bronwyn out...you may remember in my earlier description of things to watch out for while buying, I mentioned the holes in the floor... Bronwyn was a blank canvas, a shell but such beautiful potential... I started off firstly worrying about privacy so off I went to the hard ware store and bought two pieces of 1"x2" Baton about 5metres each..with this I also bought a box of 1.5" self tapping screws ( they screw into metal and make their own thread).and curtain rail.
Now at this point it would be good if you have not bought one already ... To buy or borrow a good battery drill that can save you time, and a small screw driver head set with sockets.. About 5mm up to 10cm would do nicely, cross head and flat head screw driver bits to...
We van drivers are a resourceful lot and the main thing I like to do when walking round the isles of a hardware store is to look at products and think about the other alternative uses that I could apply things to... It's like looking at building products and thinking, "if I had some left over would I dump it or could I use it somewhere else in the van"?, eg that bubble silver foil that the builder uses to insulate the hot water tank and put at the back of radiators... Would come in handy to put across the window screen at night for insulation and privacy... You get the meaning... Ok so you have your curtains up... Or in my case duvet covers because they were cheap in a second hand shop.
Mastic filler, foam filler, liquid metal filler and that small sheet of metal mesh( halfords) comes in for filling holes to...
rain like a river runs its course and with my van it started on the gutter between the van and the high roof and ended up by my feet in the drivers side foot well..rust erosion and water pools. Nothing more off putting than to lift the carpet and see a small rust patch that when pressed disappears through the floor and onto the road below !! Clean it and metal mesh it then mix your liquid metal and spread over affected area.. Just the same as foam insulation will fill gaps quite nicely where you can't get your fingers... Nothing like a lovely rainy day, your sitting there listening to the peace and quiet at your park up and suddenly hear a drip drip drip and wonder where the hell that is coming from, or driving down the road and realise the reason your leg feels cold and dead is because the last owner drilled a bloody big hole through the engine bulkhead to wire the stereo to the battery !!
Fillers come in all sorts of strengths these days from foam, when it sets you can cut, trim, sand and paint them, to fibreglass and metal fillers that you can hit with a hammer with little damage... When my power steering pipe went the AA mechanic came and rolled a small piece of liquid metal around the pipe to seal it while we got the van off the road ... So you have your stripped out van ... You have an idea and a drawing.
...measurements... You did get a tape measure ?, planning is everything and even before you part with your hard earned money, you had a vision as to your future comfort and house on wheels driving merrily down the road, lighting that log burner ( that you didn't tell the insurance about ) or any other modification that may not get you insured... You are using a friends address for mail, passport,licence, INSURANCE .....
Right... From the inside... You stripped out the seats and sealed the holes in the floor, keeping the seats you wanted as dining area seats with seat belts and the rest you sold on EBay... Gumtree .... Ect...
Now hear is a thought.... Think of a sandwich ... That's what your insulation is going to look like when you start ... Builders use a two way paper under roof tiles which is breathable instead of the old roofing felt with bitumen on it... Lighter and breathable it very easily adheres to the metal skin of the inside of the van once you have removed that bloody awful grey plastic flammable trim coach builders used.
Paper well and then line with that foil bubble roll that the builders use for insulation round hot water tanks and behind radiators.. Yes I repeated myself so you and I don't forget it !.
Any places that look like you can't get to them ... Expanding foam... Especially driver side cavity above exhaust pipe... Have a look underneath where the exhaust pipe is and you will see some long round holes that let fresh cold air strait into the van !! Use a can of fire foam as it is near the exhaust. More sealant foam can be used before cutting your ply board to fit your van or that nice tongue and groove timber to give the inside that lovely wood effect...tech screw into any metal... At this point again go into the plumbing section of the builders DIY store and get two lengths of high temperature water pipe ( the stuff they use now instead of copper) this I thought was particularly clever of me... Have a look at the ribs of the high roof in your newly acquired van... There is enough room between the rib and outer shell to push very snugly a long piece of this pipe.... For transferring cables from front of van to back instead of the metal cavity used by LDV... It's high temperature gives the wires protection where log burners are fitted !! and with a longer piece of copper wire inserted so that you can pull your cables through that you duck taped to the wire it makes quick work of passing cables safely to the back of the van.
Planing for speaker ports and outlets, power sockets,lights and solar panel wiring.
Beware of cheap fire board !!
It's all well and good planning that lovely log burner with its beautiful glass door and handle that you ordered from Snail stoves in Glastonbury...yes phone Graham now to arrange a visit ... I had mine designed and fitted within weeks !! See pictures... But the surrounding board is critical to A insulate against heat and B adhesion for tiling... Some builder merchants will sell you a type of fibre board that will cover the inside of your van with a fine dust in no time and it's only in years to come when you are on an oxygen bottle due to pulmonary obstruction or worse you realise that it was the cheap board you used in your van that was killing you and your loved one for years... Think ahead... Use proper fire board that has been designed for the job and can be tiled !!
Front seats ...as you will undoubtedly be sitting in them, driving in them and viewing the vista while having a coffee in them ... You can get those lovely captain seats out of a ford galaxy that swivel to !! Worth investment and thinking about ...
Flooring,
That foil bubble wrap gets everywhere doesn't it ??
Including under the flooring you will be laying and fixing to the cold metal floor of your nice warm van... There is nothing more annoying than thinking you have covered every aspect of insulation only to go to bed and feel that dreaded draft blowing under your duvet ( I don't mean gas) and around your nether regions... Plan ahead insulate throughly first !
Most of the floor pan ... That huge tray that sits on the sub frame of the floor of your van is quite strong enough to tech screw through but beware of fuel pipes ect and make sure that while driving you haven't opened up a hole where exhaust gasses can leak through...
Plan where lights, sockets,speakers, wiring, gas bottle pipes, shower water pipes, and all other services are going first before flooring and timbering to the inside and make sure that they are serviceable to ...
Paints and varnishes !!
Under coats and paints ... Please use thoughtfully...there are some pound shops that do sell undercoats BUT they are not water based they are solvent based... Taking hours to dry and holding you up applying that lovely shade of purple you always envisaged your van in with unicorn sparkly clear paint to !! What ever you can do in a house you can do in a van !
Hope that you have enjoyed this offering and have many happy hours in your new van.. Peace love and light T
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